A Whole New Direction

This last Friday marked a long await milestone in our life: we became first time homeowners!  Wesley and I have been dreaming of owning our own home since before we were married.  We have looked at buying a home many times over the years but it just never seemed to be the right time financially or circumstantially.  However, with this move everything seemed to fall into place, we are now financially stable enough to afford a house and since we are at a new base and will be here for a few years, it is worth putting down roots.  We are both extremely excited to have a place that is officially OURS!  (Pictures to follow once we actually get moved in).

This exciting news has been tainted, however.  Two days before we closed on the house Wesley was informed that, in just a few short weeks, he will be leaving for a year-long deployment.  What a blow to our emotional high!  While I love the thought of owning a home, I dread the thought that Wes will not be here to share it with Savannah and I.  There are so many things that are going through my head, good and bad, about this news.  I know that Wesley is excited to have the privilege of witnessing and documenting monumental world-wide change, but at the same time he won't be here to witness and document the monumental changes in our wonderful daughter that we prayed so long for.  He won't be here to see her first steps or hear her first words.  He won't be here to share in the excitement of her first birthday.  I suddenly find myself in a situation I knew COULD happen, but never expected this soon or for as long:  I will be a single mother to Savannah for the next year or more.

My life has turned in a whole new direction that will put me so far out of my comfort zone!  For those of you that know me very well, you know that I do not deal well with the unknown.  I know that I can do this, it just scares the living daylights out of me to think that I will be the soul person that shapes and forms my daughter in one of the most critical times of her life.  I don't want her to become like me, I need Wesley here to help balance my faults (which are many).  I need him to show Savannah what it is like to be goofy, not just prim and proper.  I want him to sing to her is such an off-key way that it is hard to for anyone not to listen because they know that it is straight from his heart.  I want my daughter to be able to walk into her daddy's arms with her first steps and smile up at him with such a sense of confidence!  But alas, she is stuck with me.

I love my daughter, she is such a joy in my life! I want nothing but the best for her. So I make a promise now to try my best to make sure, over the next year or more, to keep her daddy as much a part of everyday life as possible.  She will know who her daddy is!